Just Be

Desire little in this world, and what you do desire, desire that very little. And better yet, live without desire and without set plans. Abandon yourself, surrendering very gently, to the very loving Providence of God your Love.

Maxim 17

I spent six months previously as a candidate in a contemplative monastery. There, everything was different during Lent: meals, office, contact with the outside world, private conversations, and so on. In the interest of tranquility, the use of vacuum cleaners was also forbidden during Lent.

How am I spending Lent and preparing for the Passover of the Lord right now? It may seem that there is not much change in my life, that I am ministering as usual, going from place to place as needed. But in my heart, I have a stronger sense that I am walking with Jesus toward His Paschal mystery, His Passion and Resurrection.

This Lenten season, I am being asked to do things that I never thought I could do, things that I thought were beyond my strength and ability to do, and a number of other things that I had not planned are happening one after another, but I try to answer “Yes” to these things without saying “I can’t.”

By doing so, it becomes clearer that my life is not my own. In such situations, it always reminds me of Maxim 17: “Desire little in this world, and what you do desire, desire that very little. And better yet, live without desire and without set plans. Abandon yourself, surrendering very gently, to the very loving Providence of God your Love,” (trans. Sister Marcia Allen, CSJ).

If I were told to suddenly abandon myself, I would think that I could never do such a thing. But I believe that responding with all my heart to what happens every day and to what I am asked to do in this way leads me to surrender to God’s Providence rather than to live my own desires. When I took Sr. Marsha’s class at Federation Novitiate, I wrote “Just be.” in my notes about Maxim 17. How does “Just be,” which should be a simple thing, lead to “Abandon yourself”?

As I work on various tasks, I forget that I am “Just be.” The more earnest I am in my efforts to achieve better results, perhaps the less I am “Just be.” I have forgotten that I was created by God according to God’s desire, so I am fine as I am, I have created my own standards of evaluation for myself. It may be that I am no longer surrendering myself to Providence, but rather I have taken the steering wheel from the hands of God and am running out of control by stepping on the accelerator myself.

I am able to realize this because I am in community and not living alone. I pray that I can continue to live this “Just be.” not only during Lent, but for the rest of my whole life, and walk with Jesus through it all.